12 Steps--Steps 8 & 9

Contrarry to what Nick may think, I am absolutely willing to make amends for all wrongs I have caused (both actual and perceived). I am making a start here. Most of these wrongs can be found here, and here.

1. The logical result of having a can of pressurized soda and a bonfire in close proximity is to put said soda in the bonfire. I am eternally sorry that I made this logical no-no. I will no longer put A&W ANYTHING in a humongous pile of ashes...no matter how tempting it is...no matter who is with me.
2. If you ask someone "What happens if you don't want to go to heaven?", the logical response is "Go to hell then." I am very sorry, and will never again view the world in such a black and white...logical...way. There are multiple places that someone could end up after death...they could be reborn as a brussel sprout...or they could stay here and avoid the light. Whichever.
3. People can double underline phrases for many different reasons. I will no longer assume that it is the funniest reason that it could be. My apologies to Joseph Smith. I'm sure your spelling was supurb...unlike mine...for which spell check was invented.
4. I am sorry that I abused my powers of persuasion, to have a clean bedroom for two weeks. Never again will I use logic in a way that is counter productive to another person's sleep cycle...no matter how messy my bedroom is...no matter how erratic that sleep cycle was in the first place. The living room may be an entirely different matter though.
5. Even though "we kicked your butt" was a logical summation of the basketball game, I understand that it wasn't in good sportsmanship. I will never again suggest a end-game rally cry based upon a logical game summation. From now on, I will use a constructive critique of the opposing team's game...."the ball goes in the hoop" would have been a better cheer.
6. No longer will I eat all of a treat, simply because it is there. Yummy it may be, but the hips never forgive!
7. I will no longer be an enabler to the spread of the sarcastic T-shirt. I am sorry to those that I got hooked, and if you want counseling to stop I have a number for you. 1-800-9327948. (Virtual cookies to the first person who correctly figures out what it spells)
8. From now on, whenever I think of a logical (and totally gut-wrenchingly funny) comment, I will bite my tongue and count to ten. Then, if it is still appropriate, I will share. It is true that the head is an appendage. It was not appropriate to point that out in Relief Society. Even if the given definition was "something that is attached, but not important to the main body." It kills the mood of the meeting (plus, I no longer have anyone to share with).

Ok. So, these seemed to be the highlights of what was on my moral inventory. If you know of an instance where I used logic and I shouldn't have, or someone was harmed (rightfully or not) please leave a comment. I will add an apology there as well.