Mother's day conversations

Like a large majority of the American public, I call my mom on Mother's Day. This is slightly tricky for us, since my mom's prefered shift is Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, from 3 am until everything gets done.

Anyway, I called around 5 pm (her time) since that seems to be after she get's home, but before she heads for bed. Unfortunately, Mother's day was a long work day. She called me an hour and half later, when they finally let her leave. We had a good chat.

Like all good brothers do, Will came and interupted us. The conversation went something like this:

Will: My elbow hurts.
Mom: You need to give it some time to rest. It will take longer than two days to heal.
Will: I can't!  I've got $hit to do!

My mom probably made some approprate comment, but my mind was occupied with the image of my little brother trying to deficate out of his elbow. Not a sight for the weak, but it was funny none the less.

Me:  Why does he $hit with his elbow? I use completely different part of my anatomy for that. No wonder it hurts, straining that hard can't be good for you.

Mom, true to form, picked it right up and kept it rolling. The resulting banter is what I miss most, now that I live over 1000 miles from the rest of my family. Hopefully we'll be able to visit soon.

No more empty threats ... PLEASE!

Dear Golf Digest

Please stop threatening to send the last issue, and just send it.  We didn't want the first issue and are anxiously awaiting the last issue.

Thanks

LIMITED MILES INCLUDED!!

I got to admit, I'm a little confused about this.  Sixty dollars a day seems a bit much for a moving truck, even if it includes such bonuses as:  cart, blankets and limited mileage.

Knowing that they were shelling out 60 clams a day for this beauty, I insisted that we take a pic that night.  Little did I know that it would sit in the parking lot for three more days.  I wish that I had that kind of money!

P.S.  Thanks go to Nick for the title of this post!!