12 Steps--Step 10

Step 10: Continuing Inventory

Despite my most valiant efforts, I keep finding my self slipping. You will note, however, that this list is considerably shorter than the first one. Yea! Progress can be seen!

**My morbid sense of humor shows in #2. If you're offended by that kind of thing, please skip it.**

#1 Kearney has a building named "The Lighthouse Counseling Center." The name probably is a metaphor for being a beacon of light in a dark time, or some other well thought out word play. However, my first thought upon seeing this? "If I was a lighthouse in Kearney, I would need counseling too."

#2 My mom was giving a talk at my Grandmother's funeral about a month ago. We were all huddled around her looking for a particular scripture she wanted to use. All of us could remember hearing it, but none of us could find it. It turns out that the familiar form of the scripture wasn't in the King James version of the bible. But, I digress. After we found the scripture we started randomly flipping through books to find other quotes for her. Helpful of us, wasn't it? Well, I started perusing A Bit of a Pause for Mrs Claus by Schick-Jacobwitz, Schick-Pierce, and Drake. I came across a quote that I just had to share. "Her muscles were aching, her feet were so sore. This overworked housewife could take no more." It was very well received.

#3 A few months ago, the RS president gave me my visiting teaching assignment. It was in an envelope with a violin bow on it...to fit the metaphor she thought up. I am the bow, my companion is the violin, and our sisters are the strings. Separate we are incomplete, but together we make beautiful music. I thought it was a very nice metaphor; an apt description of the visiting teaching program. When we reached the end of the hall, I leaned into Nick and told him my second thoughts. "So, my companion and I are supposed to irritate our sisters until they squeal?" I think logic has made me a bad Mormon.

#4 The other night Nick was imputing receipts into the computer after our family vacation. He murmured something, so I did my part and asked what was wrong. The conversation went something like this:

"Nothing. I just can't seem to figure out why we are not out of money yet."
"Because we haven't spent it all?"
**Dirty look that could curdle milk, in about 3.5 seconds**
"Do I have to apologise for this on my blog?"
"YES!!"

#5 I recently finished reading a book on the mensa murders. I don't know if anyone will remember, but in the late 1980s a guy tried to kill an entire family because they wouldn't turn their radio down. Anyway, in the acknowledgments a lawyer was thanked for suppling legal advice and "wicked wit." My first thought was, "Why didn't any of that make it into the book? I like wicked wit."

Well, as you see, I still have some work to do. Hopefully I have come far enough along that my backslides are minimal to my overall progression. Ah well, only time will tell.

It's not the air that's trying to kill you dear.

A while ago, and to select friends, I made mention that the Nebraskan air is tyring to kill me. I thought that, in the interest of fair reporting, I should mention that I went for allergy testing yesterday. Here's how I learned that my body has a death wish.

After listening to my symptoms, the woes/inadequacies of current/past medications, and making sure I was a good girl and abstained from antihistamines for the past 72 hours, I was tested for the more common indoor/outdoor allergens. If you don't know how this is done, I'll explain. A group of allergens are preloaded on to a tray. The tray is then pressed into your back. It both drops a bit of serum and creates a small scratch. Then you wait, for 15 minutes, while your body does what it does. In my case, that was react.

Apparently I am not allergic to mold, dogs, or the vast majority of trees. Out of 14 weeds they tested for, I am allergic to 11...including hemp. That explains why my necklace always makes me itch...I thought it was a texture thing. Out of the 11 grasses that they tested for, I am allergic to 10 of them. But don't worry. We can still have a nice, lush, green lawn of corn out front. In keeping with the total truth theme, I am allergic to three of the 17 trees that were tested for. And, as Nick likes to keep pointing out, I am a little bit cat allergic.

I first suspected that there would be many reactions when four minutes after the test was started my back felt like it was smoldering. Thankfully, just before it erupted into flames, the doctor came back and said, "It looks like you're in the right clinic."

Decisions so far? We're still getting a cat. And I was lied to. I've never, EVER, seen a mosquito bite that made a red spot bigger than a quarter and a bump the size of a penny. I looked like I was beat with a belt!