Friday, October 23, 2009
A call for prayers
If you have a few extra minutes when you are praying, would you please pray for my sister, Jenn. She has just been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. The good news is that they think that it was caught early, so everyone is still very optimistic.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
12 Steps--Step 7
I know, I know, it's been forever since I've last turned my attention to my logic problem. The other night Nick even mentioned that I was slipping.
So, I give you step 7: a prayer for total wholeness.
For this prayer, I'll be modifying "Jack's Lament" from The Nightmare Before Christmas. For those of you who read fan fiction, the usual disclaimers apply. For those of you who don't, I don't own the rights to this song, or anything in The Nightmare Before Christmas. To my knowledge all of that belongs to Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, Touchstone Pictures, Walt Disney Pictures, and others more fortunate than myself. If you want to sue me for all that I own, just let me know. I'll mail you a check for $16.27, COD of course. It will be split equally in the event of multiple notifications.
A Prayer for Total Wholeness:
There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide.
When it comes to logic, laced with sarcastic wit
I excel without ever even trying.
With the slightest little effort of my eclectic mind
I've seen grown men give out a shriek.
With the fewest of words, and a well placed fact
I've seen the very boldest become meek.
Yet day after day, it's the same old string,
And I grow so weary of this endless fiend.
And I am the logic queen
Who's grown so tired of the same old thing.
Oh somewhere deep, all on it's own
An emptiness began to grow.
There's something out there, far from my home
When it comes to logic, laced with sarcastic wit
I excel without ever even trying.
With the slightest little effort of my eclectic mind
I've seen grown men give out a shriek.
With the fewest of words, and a well placed fact
I've seen the very boldest become meek.
Yet day after day, it's the same old string,
And I grow so weary of this endless fiend.
And I am the logic queen
Who's grown so tired of the same old thing.
Oh somewhere deep, all on it's own
An emptiness began to grow.
There's something out there, far from my home
A longing that I've never known.
A master of inference, reason always reigns.
This devil never seemed so fair.
To my friends it's amusing, when the unsuspecting
can not escape my logical snare.
In banter or argument, no fact is safe
Any and all will be used in deductions.
No animal or man reasons like I can
with the fury of my suppositions.
But who here would ever understand
That the logic queen, with the nimble mind
Would tire of her crown, if they only understood
She'd give it all up if she only could.
Oh there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears.
A master of inference, reason always reigns.
This devil never seemed so fair.
To my friends it's amusing, when the unsuspecting
can not escape my logical snare.
In banter or argument, no fact is safe
Any and all will be used in deductions.
No animal or man reasons like I can
with the fury of my suppositions.
But who here would ever understand
That the logic queen, with the nimble mind
Would tire of her crown, if they only understood
She'd give it all up if she only could.
Oh there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Dinner and a show....In this economy?!
So, now I have evidence that someone else things Nick is a hot stud. Well...I did, until we used said evidence to see "9" last night. The other day, someone gave Nick some free movie tickets at work. I asked why (that's usually my first question to just about everything), and he didn't know. I assumed that whoever it was thought he was irresistible. That was, until he told me it was a guy...then it got too creepy to think about.
We showed up at the theater half an hour early. Not because we wanted a good seat, but because there wasn't enough time to go to dinner before the movie started. Since the movie was free, we got a popcorn to share. We had the theater to ourselves until right before the previews ended, when a small family (two kids) came in. Amazingly, they were quiet! It was like having the theater to ourselves. The movie was good...just good. Nick didn't like it, and I have to agree that it didn't live up to the promises made by the trailer.
Afterwards we went to KFC. It's been a while since we went there, and I really wanted a nice, hot pot pie. When we get there, we're asked the second most famous fast food question..."Dine in, or to go?....The dinning room closes in 15 minutes." I guess take out it is. We then give our order, and the night's true entertainment began.
They don't have pot pies...a whole pan of them got dropped earlier and they lost six...the last six...it's been like a Monday today. They don't have the chicken fillets either...they were a promotional item...they've been back ordered for three months now. We ask if there is anything else that they're out of, and get a list of five things...including the original recipe. We finally piece together a meal from what they do have. The cashier throws in a free drink to apologise for the meager selections. Grand total...$8! There's no way that's going to be enough food. Nick asks for a couple of chocolate chip cookies...they don't have cookies. I get the distinct feeling that, if it were possible, the cashier would rather run home and bake cookies instead of admitting that they were out. He threw in some brownie bites, for free. While we were paying Nick observed, "That's the first time that I had to bargain for fast food."
The poor cashier! He was trying really hard to keep us from getting annoyed, and we were too busy enjoying the hilarity of the situation to be annoyed.
Semi-private theater...$0
Medium popcorn with butter...$4.95
Dinner at KFC...$7.56
The first Thursday date-night....priceless
We showed up at the theater half an hour early. Not because we wanted a good seat, but because there wasn't enough time to go to dinner before the movie started. Since the movie was free, we got a popcorn to share. We had the theater to ourselves until right before the previews ended, when a small family (two kids) came in. Amazingly, they were quiet! It was like having the theater to ourselves. The movie was good...just good. Nick didn't like it, and I have to agree that it didn't live up to the promises made by the trailer.
Afterwards we went to KFC. It's been a while since we went there, and I really wanted a nice, hot pot pie. When we get there, we're asked the second most famous fast food question..."Dine in, or to go?....The dinning room closes in 15 minutes." I guess take out it is. We then give our order, and the night's true entertainment began.
They don't have pot pies...a whole pan of them got dropped earlier and they lost six...the last six...it's been like a Monday today. They don't have the chicken fillets either...they were a promotional item...they've been back ordered for three months now. We ask if there is anything else that they're out of, and get a list of five things...including the original recipe. We finally piece together a meal from what they do have. The cashier throws in a free drink to apologise for the meager selections. Grand total...$8! There's no way that's going to be enough food. Nick asks for a couple of chocolate chip cookies...they don't have cookies. I get the distinct feeling that, if it were possible, the cashier would rather run home and bake cookies instead of admitting that they were out. He threw in some brownie bites, for free. While we were paying Nick observed, "That's the first time that I had to bargain for fast food."
The poor cashier! He was trying really hard to keep us from getting annoyed, and we were too busy enjoying the hilarity of the situation to be annoyed.
Semi-private theater...$0
Medium popcorn with butter...$4.95
Dinner at KFC...$7.56
The first Thursday date-night....priceless
Friday, October 9, 2009
How to know you're a chemist
Several years ago one of my friends had a roommate that thought he wanted to be a chemist. She thought we should hook up, and hosted a dinner. We didn't hook up. (Side Note: I wouldn't know what to do with a Freshman any more than a Freshman would know what to do with me.)
All through dinner, he kept asking me what makes a good chemist. I honestly answered his question, but I don't think that he was very satisfied with my answer. I think that he was looking for a laundry list of qualities that he could check off. The chemists that I've met in my short career make me doubt that such a list exists. There are so many different subdisciplines of chemistry, that the best marker of whether you would make a good chemist is whether or not you like chemistry.
However, in my old age, I'm starting to feel a little sorry for Jack*. I thought that I would post a list of items that I have found on various websites that will allow him to gauge his progress to becoming a chemist, or at least tell whether or not he wants to be come a chemist. So, in true Jeff Foxworthy style....
You know you're a chemist if....
1. Your favorite activity is testing the water in the fish tank – and you don't even have any fish.. (if you have fish, you are a biochemist).
2. You think that fresh air smells bad.
3. You know that Anal. Chem. is not the title of a raunchy video.
4. All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
5. You BBQ with the bunsen burner.
6. Your kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney you reply, "Duh, tunneling effect."
7. You've had an hour long discussion with a health nut about what 'organic' really means.
8. You think people are lazy for calling 1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6(3H,7H)-dione (or 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine) caffeine.
9. You habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom.
10. You refer to drinking any alcoholic drink as a hydroxyl group analysis.
11. You hum "dilution is the solution to pollution" while looking at a sink or urinal.
12. You look at yourself in the mirror and you say "damn I'm chiral!"
13. You consider adjusting your glasses a calibration.
14. You buy a sleeping bag, but it will never be used outdoors.
And the best indicator that you are a chemist is....
15. You've spent 30 minutes trying to explain to someone just how funny an item on this list really is! (#6 got me. Poor Nick. If you want to understand it, send me an e-mail and I'll explain. I won't promise you'll think it's funny, but you will understand.)
*name changed to protect the innocent.
All through dinner, he kept asking me what makes a good chemist. I honestly answered his question, but I don't think that he was very satisfied with my answer. I think that he was looking for a laundry list of qualities that he could check off. The chemists that I've met in my short career make me doubt that such a list exists. There are so many different subdisciplines of chemistry, that the best marker of whether you would make a good chemist is whether or not you like chemistry.
However, in my old age, I'm starting to feel a little sorry for Jack*. I thought that I would post a list of items that I have found on various websites that will allow him to gauge his progress to becoming a chemist, or at least tell whether or not he wants to be come a chemist. So, in true Jeff Foxworthy style....
You know you're a chemist if....
1. Your favorite activity is testing the water in the fish tank – and you don't even have any fish.. (if you have fish, you are a biochemist).
2. You think that fresh air smells bad.
3. You know that Anal. Chem. is not the title of a raunchy video.
4. All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
5. You BBQ with the bunsen burner.
6. Your kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney you reply, "Duh, tunneling effect."
7. You've had an hour long discussion with a health nut about what 'organic' really means.
8. You think people are lazy for calling 1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6(3H,7H)-dione (or 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine) caffeine.
9. You habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom.
10. You refer to drinking any alcoholic drink as a hydroxyl group analysis.
11. You hum "dilution is the solution to pollution" while looking at a sink or urinal.
12. You look at yourself in the mirror and you say "damn I'm chiral!"
13. You consider adjusting your glasses a calibration.
14. You buy a sleeping bag, but it will never be used outdoors.
And the best indicator that you are a chemist is....
15. You've spent 30 minutes trying to explain to someone just how funny an item on this list really is! (#6 got me. Poor Nick. If you want to understand it, send me an e-mail and I'll explain. I won't promise you'll think it's funny, but you will understand.)
*name changed to protect the innocent.
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