Who says sience isn't funny?

A call for prayers

If you have a few extra minutes when you are praying, would you please pray for my sister, Jenn. She has just been diagnosed with thyroid cancer. The good news is that they think that it was caught early, so everyone is still very optimistic.

12 Steps--Step 7

I know, I know, it's been forever since I've last turned my attention to my logic problem. The other night Nick even mentioned that I was slipping.

So, I give you step 7: a prayer for total wholeness.

For this prayer, I'll be modifying "Jack's Lament" from The Nightmare Before Christmas. For those of you who read fan fiction, the usual disclaimers apply. For those of you who don't, I don't own the rights to this song, or anything in The Nightmare Before Christmas. To my knowledge all of that belongs to Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, Touchstone Pictures, Walt Disney Pictures, and others more fortunate than myself. If you want to sue me for all that I own, just let me know. I'll mail you a check for $16.27, COD of course. It will be split equally in the event of multiple notifications.

A Prayer for Total Wholeness:

There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best

For my talents are renowned far and wide.
When it comes to logic, laced with sarcastic wit
I excel without ever even trying.
With the slightest little effort of my eclectic mind
I've seen grown men give out a shriek.
With the fewest of words, and a well placed fact
I've seen the very boldest become meek.

Yet day after day, it's the same old string,
And I grow so weary of this endless fiend.
And I am the logic queen
Who's grown so tired of the same old thing.

Oh somewhere deep, all on it's own
An emptiness began to grow.
There's something out there, far from my home

A longing that I've never known.

A master of inference, reason always reigns.
This devil never seemed so fair.
To my friends it's amusing, when the unsuspecting
can not escape my logical snare.

In banter or argument, no fact is safe
Any and all will be used in deductions.
No animal or man reasons like I can
with the fury of my suppositions.

But who here would ever understand
That the logic queen, with the nimble mind
Would tire of her crown, if they only understood
She'd give it all up if she only could.

Oh there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise come year after year
Does nothing for these empty tears.

Dinner and a show....In this economy?!

So, now I have evidence that someone else things Nick is a hot stud. Well...I did, until we used said evidence to see "9" last night. The other day, someone gave Nick some free movie tickets at work. I asked why (that's usually my first question to just about everything), and he didn't know. I assumed that whoever it was thought he was irresistible. That was, until he told me it was a guy...then it got too creepy to think about.

We showed up at the theater half an hour early. Not because we wanted a good seat, but because there wasn't enough time to go to dinner before the movie started. Since the movie was free, we got a popcorn to share. We had the theater to ourselves until right before the previews ended, when a small family (two kids) came in. Amazingly, they were quiet! It was like having the theater to ourselves. The movie was good...just good. Nick didn't like it, and I have to agree that it didn't live up to the promises made by the trailer.

Afterwards we went to KFC. It's been a while since we went there, and I really wanted a nice, hot pot pie. When we get there, we're asked the second most famous fast food question..."Dine in, or to go?....The dinning room closes in 15 minutes." I guess take out it is. We then give our order, and the night's true entertainment began.

They don't have pot pies...a whole pan of them got dropped earlier and they lost six...the last six...it's been like a Monday today. They don't have the chicken fillets either...they were a promotional item...they've been back ordered for three months now. We ask if there is anything else that they're out of, and get a list of five things...including the original recipe. We finally piece together a meal from what they do have. The cashier throws in a free drink to apologise for the meager selections. Grand total...$8! There's no way that's going to be enough food. Nick asks for a couple of chocolate chip cookies...they don't have cookies. I get the distinct feeling that, if it were possible, the cashier would rather run home and bake cookies instead of admitting that they were out. He threw in some brownie bites, for free. While we were paying Nick observed, "That's the first time that I had to bargain for fast food."

The poor cashier! He was trying really hard to keep us from getting annoyed, and we were too busy enjoying the hilarity of the situation to be annoyed.

Semi-private theater...$0
Medium popcorn with butter...$4.95
Dinner at KFC...$7.56

The first Thursday date-night....priceless

How to know you're a chemist

Several years ago one of my friends had a roommate that thought he wanted to be a chemist. She thought we should hook up, and hosted a dinner. We didn't hook up. (Side Note: I wouldn't know what to do with a Freshman any more than a Freshman would know what to do with me.)

All through dinner, he kept asking me what makes a good chemist. I honestly answered his question, but I don't think that he was very satisfied with my answer. I think that he was looking for a laundry list of qualities that he could check off. The chemists that I've met in my short career make me doubt that such a list exists. There are so many different subdisciplines of chemistry, that the best marker of whether you would make a good chemist is whether or not you like chemistry.

However, in my old age, I'm starting to feel a little sorry for Jack*. I thought that I would post a list of items that I have found on various websites that will allow him to gauge his progress to becoming a chemist, or at least tell whether or not he wants to be come a chemist. So, in true Jeff Foxworthy style....

You know you're a chemist if....

1. Your favorite activity is testing the water in the fish tank – and you don't even have any fish.. (if you have fish, you are a biochemist).
2. You think that fresh air smells bad.
3. You know that Anal. Chem. is not the title of a raunchy video.
4. All your scars are not from bar fights but from chemical burns.
5. You BBQ with the bunsen burner.
6. Your kids ask you how Santa fits through a small chimney you reply, "Duh, tunneling effect."
7. You've had an hour long discussion with a health nut about what 'organic' really means.
8. You think people are lazy for calling 1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6(3H,7H)-dione (or 1,3,7-trimethylxanthine) caffeine.
9. You habitually wash your hands BEFORE and AFTER using the restroom.
10. You refer to drinking any alcoholic drink as a hydroxyl group analysis.
11. You hum "dilution is the solution to pollution" while looking at a sink or urinal.
12. You look at yourself in the mirror and you say "damn I'm chiral!"
13. You consider adjusting your glasses a calibration.
14. You buy a sleeping bag, but it will never be used outdoors.

And the best indicator that you are a chemist is....

15. You've spent 30 minutes trying to explain to someone just how funny an item on this list really is! (#6 got me. Poor Nick. If you want to understand it, send me an e-mail and I'll explain. I won't promise you'll think it's funny, but you will understand.)

*name changed to protect the innocent.

The 30 minute Safari

I'm a firm believer in day dreaming. I've always thought that if a child is found to be daydreaming when they shouldn't, they should be guided gently back to the task at hand. There is much harm that can be done to the critical thinking process when the imagination is curbed.

I went on an African safari last night. We spent days driving around the Savannah. We saw a pack of lazy lions. The king sunning himself on pride rock, overlooking his domain. We drove through acres of zebras, black and white strips mingling until we didn't know where in the herd we were. There was a group of hippopotami in one of the rivers we crossed. Three took notice of us. One snorted, spraying two water jets out of it's nose, while the other two gleeked. All the while countless birds surrounded the local water hole.

In the evenings, we sat around the campfire while the guides sang songs filled with tribal history and lore. It was quite peaceful, the soft glow from lanterns and stars adding to the relaxing atmosphere.

But all things must come to an end. Nick came home; I had to shut off the CD player, and get out of the tub. Next time, I think I'll travel the plains with the Paiute Indians.

Lab rat skin

Here in Kearney there is a pond that people are allowed to swim in. It's a little bit scary. They put something in the water that makes it green, and kind of thick. Nick thinks it's to keep algae from growing, and I tend to lean towards algae. Anyway, it also keeps you from seeing your feet. I don't like to not see my feet. Like I said, it's scary.

Nick was wearing his patented swim shirt, and I was just wearing my new swim suit. Needless to say, my shoulders, back, and neckline were exposed for the second time this year. Luckily no one looked directly at them; I would hate to blind someone. It started to get chilly (at least I thought so) after an hour or so. We got out and laid in the sun for 10-15 minutes to dry our suits before heading home. That's the only time that Nick took off his shirt. Nick's face was looking a little pink, so we left.

Both of our shoulders burned. Again, I ask, who has the lab rat skin?

"You're cute, and I love the way you use big words in your sleep"

"Why do you want a non-Newtonian liquid?" Confused? So was I. This was the first thing that I heard Saturday morning.

Apparently Friday night, I rolled over and said "I want a non-Newtonian liquid." I don't remember doing it, but he insists that it happend. Why is it that everyone who shares a bed room with me has nothing better to do than think up weired things for me to say while I'm sleeping?

Anyway, at his confused look, I explained how much fun could be had by playing with one (The Big Bang Theory showed the guys playing with starch water and a speaker. **see video above** I highly recommend trying it!). He then proceeded to say, and coincidentally what is now my favorite quote, the title of this blog entry.

Tweakin' Rabbits!

By way of introduction, the Flinn chemical storage system (which we are using in the stock room) classifies any chemical with a LD50 less than 250 mg/Kg as a severe poison. They further recommend that severe poisons are stored in a locked cabinet. So, I was searching for an archive of LD50's. I didn't find one. However, I did find this. While it wasn't what I was looking for, it definitely was entertaining.

For those who don't know what a LD50 is, it is a dosage (reported in amount of substance per kilogram of animal body weight) that will kill half of a population in a given time. If you want to know more...well, you're online...look it up!

So, back to the bunnies! For Psilocybin, the intravenous LD50 is about the same for rats and mice (280 and 285 mg/Kg respectively). However, for rabbits it's much, much less 12.5 mg/Kg. The moral of the story? Rabbits can't handle their 'shrooms!

Thanks go to Replay 13, who posted this image on photobucket. If you want it removed, just say so.

Hello Nebraska

So, we've been in Nebraska for about a week now. I've made a few observations, that in my opinion, everyone should consider before joining us out here. For instance...

1. It's flat. I still can't figure how people tell what way is north. I'm getting a little paranoid. Why do I need to see so far?

2. The air is trying to kill me! Everyone here is so OCD about their yard. While it's very pretty to look at, all the grass pollen isn't good for me.

3. People here actually obey the speed limit. I've always considered the speed limit to be a suggestion, and to only be followed if you are suffering from a serious lack of imagination. Here, if they're not going the speed limit, they're going five under.

4. The kindness is going to take some getting used to. At Walmart when you arrive at an intersection at the same time as another shopper, they actually stop! They even go as far as to insist that you go first. I swear, they even slow down when you're trying to get on the road. It's getting seriously annoying.

5. The people may be cautious, but the squirrels aren't. On campus the other day, I saw three squirrels out in the middle of the lawn (not the same lawn). Up to this point the only squirrels I've seen were running from bush to bush. I sat in an adjacent lawn, to watch one of them, while I ate lunch. I think it was trying to scare me off! Thank goodness that crow chased him away; I think I was getting a goosebump.

6. I don't think that I've ever seen so many road kill rabbits before. Today, we passed three in a two mile strech of road. I've yet to see an alive rabbit...apparently, no one else sees them either.

7. The main rental agency isn't interested in renting apartments. Odd, considering that they own most of them. I've called them several times. Each time, I got the distinct impression that I've woke the guy up; and he would really like to go back to bed, but the phone was annoying him. Needless to say, we didn't rent from them.

Well, like I said, we've only been here for a week. I'm sure that there is plenty more that will take some getting used to. All in all, I think that I am going to enjoy it here. We've found a place, and should be able to move in next week. I really enjoy my job, and I've even made some progress on the chemical storage. I can't wait to see what what happens next.

Good-bye Planet Utah

Now that I'm no longer living in Utah, I thought I'd take some time to list a few things that I will miss. So here they are (in no apparent order, of course).

I miss...

1. the University of Utah. I have made many friends there, and I am sad I won't see them every day. Believe it or not, I'm even missing having to track down Chuck. It makes me sad to think that I've heard him say "I'm only here for a minute, but you wanted to see me..." for the last time.

2. the traffic humor. I was curious about this 'traffic congested area', so I checked it out one night. Just my luck, it was a slow night.

3. the freak of the week. How am I going to live if I don't get to hear about all the wannabe Darwin Award recipients out there? My favorite one happened in Utah. A kid tried to steal a car. He missed the fact that there was a cop was sitting in it. Here's my favorite part. When the cop made his presence known, the kid crapped his pants, putting quite the damper on his get-a-way.

4. the marque signs. Yes, Nebraska has them, but they just are not the same. I really miss the sign that said "Bobby told me to put something up here, but I can't remember what."

5. being close enough to family that we could visit regularly. What was a 4 to 6 hour drive is now a 15 to 20 hour drive. Some may say that's still too close, but I really love the red sands of St. George. I also love the sign on I-15 that says "Idaho is too great to litter." Silly me...I thought Idaho didn't litter because it wasn't sentient.

6. fighting with the TGA. I'm going to miss Steve. If you have a problem with a TGA, call Steve. He'll know how to fix it. Never mind that he's the sales rep. That must be why he can tell when I'm joking! Surprisingly enough, I'm even going to miss the techs that don't know a joke when they hear one (I know that super glue out gasses in a vacuum. Seriously, I was joking when I asked if I could super glue it back together.)

7. public transportation. UTA has opened my eyes to a whole new world, and it's completely full of crazy people. Let's see....there was the guy who wanted to put nitro glycerin in his diesel fuel, a 50/50 mixture of course....the guy who dared me to give him my phone number....the guy who asked me to marry him....after that, I stoped taking TRAX after dark.

8. the protesters at temple square. Not necessarily the protesters themselves, more their signs. One time someone was picketing with an Oreo cookie advertisement.

9. the weather. If you don't like it, just wait five minutes. It'll change! Of course, if it changes to something you don't like, you only have to endure it for five minutes.

Were moving!

The rumors are true, we are officially moving to Kearney, Nebraska next month. You are reading the blog of the new Instrumentation Technician at the University of Nebraska at Kearney (assuming the background check goes well).

I applied for this job while Nick was still in Nebraska. At first we did a telephone interview, and I seriously thought that I blew it. (I have never really caught on to the whole self promotion thing that is so essential for job interview success.) A week later they decided that they wanted to fly me out there.

I went, and all five of the questions that I prepared to ask were answered in the first ten minutes of the first interview. And wouldn't you know it, I couldn't think of a single new question to ask! What a time to develop stage fright. I felt like such a heel, not asking any questions.

I was wined and dined in fine style. I stayed at a nice hotel, ate cheesecake at Old Chicago, and went in the very first Cabela's. I got a tour of the campus and the town. I thoroughly enjoyed it. The faculty was enthusiastic, full of new ideas and eager to teach. They displayed many of the qualities that are common to my favorite professors. I was impressed from the onset by the variety of instrumentation available for student use. And I love their vision of teaching through hands on research. Needless to say, I was impressed and excited for the opportunity to work with them.

The flight back was quite a bit bumpier, and I almost didn't make it without being sick. Can you imagine getting sick on the plane, while the airports are blaring the latest breaking news of the 'swine flu'?! I would have been horrified. Luckily my flight was late, and I missed the connecting flight out of Denver. That gave me some time to get my rebellious stomach under control. It was still noon the next day before I could walk without the fear of showing everyone what I ate for breakfast, and well into the evening before I felt back to 100%.

They called to offer me the job before my stomach even settled. I asked for a couple of days to decide. I had to make sure that Nick was really ok with moving out there, and that we were ok (if not optimistic) about his job prospects there. I also had to wrap my head around the idea that we really were going to move twice in as many months! That's what I get for staying in the same place for three years. Thank goodness I insisted that we keep most of our moving boxes!

It's pic time!

Ok, I now have the time to post. First, at the temple. This pic was actually taken on March 26. That way, on the 27th, we could run from the temple to the kabobs. We knew that the kabobs were the real reason for everyone to get together, and we didn't want any unnecessary delay.

Here's what we looked like at the reception. When I told my mom I was going to be wearing jeans to my reception, she told me that I had to stand out. That's when the t-shirt idea was born. Thanks go to Jen, who made these for us!

As I stated in the previous post, the kabobs were to die for! Oh, they were sooooooo yummy! When I went to say goodbye to my Grandma before she left, she kept eying my kabob. It took me nearly ten minutes to convince her that it was ok to take it from me, and I could go get another one. Time well spent.

We had to do something to break the tedium of a ten hour car drive, so we stopped at as many tourist traps as possible. And took pictures of all the state signs we passed. This was my favorite. It was located just outside of Four Corners Park. Which, by the way, closes at 5. We stopped to see the Glen Canyon Dam, in Page, Arizona. We were hungry, and while looking for Burger King we found the "Dam Plaza" which held the "Dam Bar and Grill" and the "Dam Outlet." However, our stomachs growled and we continued our search. My heart fell when we saw "Page High School," I love the idea of someone graduating from the "Dam High School." Even if it wouldn't be me.

There was a dinosaur track exhibit that we stopped at. The guide explained this picture the best, so I'll quote. "This is a dinosaur egg. They're pretty sure it is, but they could be wrong." I swear, he didn't show any signs of being drunk or stoned, but he sure sounded like he was. I think that he was the most entertaining part of the exhibit. We got to see fossilized dinosaur poop....and see how the guides arranged it into the shape of a turtle. We got to see where they dug a tooth out of the rock....not the tooth itself, just the hole. There were many dinosaur tracks there. Most of them were believed to be velosaur raptor prints, but then again, they could be wrong.

We finally reached the cave! It was awesome! There was a replica of a kiva. It was a replica because it hadn't been blessed. (The manager's words, not mine.) There was a washer, dryer, and a microwave. If you wanted to use the microwave you had to turn off all the space heaters. Otherwise you would blow circuits. They had a counter top oven and stove. Seriously, it was all one unit and sitting on the counter top. Then there was the water fall shower and Jacuzzi tub. We thought that it was very considerate of them to provide the bubbles for our bubble fight. I've got to get a Jacuzzi tub!

Out on the balcony they had a place to feed the squirrels, so we did. There was this one really old, fat, and slow squirrel. We're thinking that he ate about 3/4 of the food we put out all by himself. Three chipmunks showed up as well. They were terrified of this old squirrel. They would alternate between chasing each other off, and stealing food from the "old squirrel's" pile. Toward the end, two other squirrels showed up. They didn't move in slow motion, and were able to chase all the chipmunks and the old squirrel away. They were less effective in chasing each other away, though they did try.

While at the cave we went to Aztec, New Mexico and saw the "Aztec" ruins there. And yes, they freely admit that the ruins are most likely Anasazi and Pueblo, not Aztec. We also tried to visit several museums. Nothing was open! It was highly frustrating....until it occurred to us that every church parking lot was full. It was Sunday. It is really hard to keep track of time when you are living in a cave.

Our final night there, it snowed. Just a light dusting, but enough to knock out half of the power. Not half of the power like you are thinking, but half of the outlets in each room went out. We decided to get an early start back.

The drive back was fairly uneventful. Except for a large semi that threw a rock at us. It put a rock chip in the windshield that was a centimeter in diameter! When we got it fixed, I learned that my windshield is 6 years old, almost to the day. I only thought it was two or three. They grow up so fast.

Family drama, when it rains it pours....

You know, for most families a wedding is enough drama for at least a week or two. However, my family has never been typical. We like things to come in threes. In rapid secession.

I didn't know this at the time, but it turns out that my wedding day was also my brother and his wife's due date. She went into labor before we went into the temple. Needless to say, they were not there, and didn't get kabobs that night. I felt really bad for them. Those were some really good kabobs. Ty and Jo really out did themselves!

After kabobs, both Nick's sisters and Jen realized that they forgot the things to decorate the car. Yea! However, Nick's sisters decided that they would use plastic forks. Nick dragged me out to the car, in an attempt to head them off. Except that would be too easy. One of Nick's friends came late...and we didn't get to leave before they found the crayons. They wrote on all of the windows. Since you can barely see it, I'm ok with leaving it until I have time to scrub it off. We were really grateful that we didn't have to stop at a car wash on the way out of town.

After the BBQ my family (sans Nick and I) got together at my parents house for a marathon gab/joke session. This is my favorite part of weddings and funerals, and I felt a little bad about missing it. Since it lasted till three in the morning, I didn't feel too bad though. That's when Jared called to say that he needed a babysitter. He was taking my sister to the emergency room. It turns out she had a gall stone blocking a bile duct. OUCH! The next day, they stole her gall bladder. While they were at the hospital, Jimmy called to have my dad help him give a blessing to his wife. They were taking her for an emergency C-section. Double and triple OUCH!!! That has it's own story, which I don't have the rights to publish. Let's just say that a malpractice suit is probably pending. I've never heard anyone say anything good about that doctor, and now I don't like him.

Everyone is home now, and doing great. Jen says that her stomach hardly hurts anymore. And, I got pics of little Kendal. He's got to be the cutest little snot I've ever seen. Looks very much like his dad did! Hopefully he won't grow out of it (just kidding....I love you Jimmy).

Ok....so now everyone knows why I haven't posted. Family drama is wonderful, isn't it?

Where did the time go?

I thought that I had enough time! I remember planning it all out, down to the minute. So....why isn't all that time here?

Work has been absolutely crazy. I've been sharing the TGA with another research group who's TGA had boards fail that, according to tech support, were infallible. I have the experiments finished for the kinetic study on calcium carbonate...now all I need is the time to crunch the numbers. Now that I've heard from tech support, I can get on the decomposition studies for HMX. I believe that I have enough time to finish them. And just in case this wasn't enough going on, another group is taking custody of the TGA-MS soon. I've been working with them to ease that transition.

I believe that we have finally got everything planned for the wedding, a week from Friday. All should come. It's going to be a blast. The only way that Nick and I could stand to have a reception was to make it as non-traditional as possible. No line....no wedding cake (I don't think anyone will miss it. It's usually hard enough to stop a charging hippopotamus)....minimal flowers....BBQ....and most important, I get to wear jeans. Don't worry, I'll post pics for those poor souls who can't make it.

Now if we could only get the people who we've left apartment applications with to make a choice! Some have been trying to make up their mind for three weeks now. I think that we're good people...we're not partiers...we don't drink, smoke, or do drugs (as long as Allegra and Flonase don't count)...we don't have pets, not even fish...everyone says that we make a cute couple, whatever that means. I don't get it! What's not to love?

Ok. That's enough pity party time. I've got to get moving.

Wedding bells are ringing.

This is mostly for our facebook friends, whom we don't have addresses for. If you would like a 'paper' copy give either Nick or myself a shout, call, e-mail...whatever works, and we'll be happy to send one to your doorstep. We are planning on sending them out in a couple of weeks.

Life's been good to me

I am truly blessed. I find that I need to keep reminding myself of this a lot lately. The standard January depression is taking a bit longer to lift this year, any one of half a dozen reasons could be to blame.

I have a really awesome, sweet, funny, good looking...well, I could go on forever...man who is head-over-heals in love with me; and I with him. We are going to be married at the end of March, which has provided much more joy than stress. (Hopefully I haven't just jinxed that) I have many friends and family who provide love, support, encouragement, along with the occasional reality check. When I asked my advisor if it would be possible to extend my time at the University he replied "Of course." The sun peaked out of the clouds yesterday. And to top it off, I received some of the best news of my life today. My good friend Jennie, after two surgeries, has been declared cancer free! She is healing quickly, and absolutely disgusted with her level of energy. She may hate me for it, but I love the fact that she is disgusted! It shows she is well enough to care.

Well, I just wanted to take a moment to agree with Joe Walsh. Life has, indeed, been good to me.

12 Steps--Step 6

Step 6: Commitment to total change.

So...last week I was visiting the blogs that I frequent. There were a few new postings, but not as many as I had hopped for. It had been quite a while since my last visits. In an effort to cheer myself up, I visited my blog. I was surprised to find myself a little miffed that there wasn't a new post here to!

What a wonderful beginning to show my commitment to total change. I was elated when the illogical feelings of 'mifftiness' fluttered across my heart! I will take this illogical start another step forward. I pledge to do at least one thing that is absolutely devoid of logic every day.

The other day I made a chocolate run, and picked up the fixin's for bean dip. Today, I kept hitting the snooze bar until I was almost late. I can count on one hand the number of times that I've done that! Maybe I'll play an evil character in Baldur's Gate. That should provide ample opportunity for illogical decisions! (The game rewards non-violent/good solutions more than violent/evil ones) I've never had the heart to do this, since I always felt bad that the plot line makes me a 8asterd. I've never had the constitution to be an evil 8asterd.

I can't wait to see the new adventures I'll have in this new, illogical world I've stepped into!

We're DINKS...as soon as we find jobs

I got engaged yesterday! Since I know everyone will ask....here's the whole story.

It all started on New Year's Eve. Nick told me that he would like to go to the mall to 'look' at rings again. I almost balked. My ring was already picked out, and he wasn't much help with his ring. What was there to look at? It was a complete surprise when he bought it. We sent it off to get it sized. When we got home I asked him who I could tell that we bought my ring, and he said..."Nobody. Not until I put it on your finger." I thought that was very mean, and said so. He laughed. I reminded him that he put it on my finger at the store, and he said it didn't count unless it came with "the" question. These last few weeks have been pure torture!

Wensday night Nick asked if I wanted to go to the Olive Garden for lunch Thursday. Then he asked if I even had to go in at all. I've been training another research group on our TGA, so the last few days has been spent helping them with their research. They weren't coming in today, so I was excited about having the instrument all to my self. When I told him this, his face fell through the floor. I swear I heard it crash. Then it hit me....ring....lunch....Olive Garden....OH! I told him that we should have lunch.

Before I left, Nick got my phone and started flipping through the numbers. I debated on if I should let him find it on his own, or if I should help him. I decided to be helpful...he looked really lost flipping through the Js. I told him to try P. He asked why P, and I told him "for parents." He said "Oh," and jotted the number down. Needless to say, neither one of us slept well that night.

I went to work that morning, and let me tell you it was really, REALLY hard to concentrate on the calibration I was doing. Unbeknown to me (sort of), Nick was calling my dad. He later told me that the conversation went something like this:

"Hi Bill, this is Nick. I'm in love with your daughter, and would like to marry her."
"Who is this?"

Poor Nick! No wonder he was so nervous over lunch. After lunch, the conversation went something like this:

"Do you have to go back to work?"
"I probably should, but I don't want to. What do you want to do?"
"Let's go for a walk. Where do you want to walk?"
"Where is a good place to walk? You do more walking than I do."
"That's the problem. I've walked around the places here so often that I'm tired of them."
"Ok, where haven't you walked in a while?"
"The frisbee park." (Our first date)
"Ok, let's go there."

We get there and start to walk around. He tries to throw a snowball at me, but I make him be nice. We make it to the back side of the park, and he stops. Pulls the ring out of his pocket, and says that he has something to ask me. He gets down on one knee (in the snow no less!) and starts to pull off my right glove. It's cold, so I tell him that he has the wrong hand. We laugh, and then get engaged! One snowball fight later, and we're back to his place to call family/friends. Then comes the celebratory root beer floats. Yum!

So, now you all know the story. We're engaged!

It's so funny, I cried.

I got my diploma in the mail last week. While looking at it, I thought, "what an expensive piece of paper." Is that normal? Any way, it caused me to reflect on some of the lessons that higher education taught me. I will share a few that made me laugh.

The last ten years have taught me.....

1. BOHICA!


2. If there are two instruments in the lab, they will never be working at the same time. But, if there is three or more, this can be accomplished.


3. Student health care is worth exactly what you pay for it, if you're lucky.


4. Despite the fact that you have no data or error analysis, a failed lab experiment is exponentially harder to write up than a successful one.


5. Sororities are not all that they are cracked up to be.


6. Somebody really should have shot Murphy. Preferably in the gut.


7. If an experiment worked the first time, something went wrong.


8. I really want a tee-shirt with Maxwell's equations on it.


9. If you want to get an instrument fixed, stop talking with the techs at tech support. The fastest way to accomplish this is to call the sales rep.


10. No matter how many times you tried it, it will work for your advisor/boss....on the first try....perfectly.
11. The techs at tech support do not have a sense of humor; any joke you crack will be taken seriously.
12. Looking for a job makes you feel like a mouse wearing a sign that says "Need money. Willing to endure scientific research."

Just one of those days

Have you ever been in an argument that gives you the feeling that you just can't win? I bet that it felt something like this.



Thanks go to Jen, who forwarded this e-mail to me. She must have known that it belonged on my blog!

12 Steps--step 5

Some of you may be like I was for the first several decades of my life. You may thinking that logic is an admirable trait in a woman, who, as a general breed, tend to be overly emotional. It is to you that I dedicate this post. I give you the next step along my path to logical independence:

5. Admission of the exact nature of our wrongs

In general, logic is not wrong. Don't get me wrong here, this is not denial speaking. Logic, like any other delectable, is wonderful...if used in moderation. This is where my sin comes in. I have this compulsive need to apply logic to everything.

You may think that this isn't so bad. You may think that you've heard of worse sins. Well....just read on. It is so bad that my favorite joke is not just one joke, but a string of jokes...that follow a logical progression. I will demonstrate:

1. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
2. How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
3. How do you put four elephants in a VW Bug?
4. How do you know that there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
5. The lion king called a meeting, which animal didn't attend?

If you were to argue that this can not be my favorite joke, since it is five jokes, I would agree with you. I would be forced to tell you that my favorite single joke was told to me by my Calculus teacher. Unlike the previous string, it is not in the least logical. You will never guess the answer. It is...What's the difference between a motorcycle. No. I didn't forget half the joke, but the guy who told it to Mr. Hunt might have.

If this wasn't bad enough, my life seems saturated by logic. It seems that the more tainted your thoughts are with logic, the more specific people have to be with you. What do you think of when a 'topless' dinner is suggested to you? My first thought (and, oddly enough, the one I voiced) was "You can take the top off your pot pie, if you want to."

Not even Sunday services are safe! One time, in church, an appendage was defined as "something that is attached to the main body, but is not necessary." Without missing a beat I leaned over to my friend and said "You know, the head is considered an appendage."

These links that my mind makes are truly scary. I'm sure that by now you all now see the dangers of letting logic creep into your thought processes. A little here and there is ok, but remain on your guard. Logic is like lays...once you start, you can't stop!

And, since I'm sure that someone will ask in the comments, here are the answers to the jokes:

1. Open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door.
2. Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door. (What? You thought that both an elephant and a giraffe would fit in a refrigerator? Don't be silly.)
3. Two in the front, two in the back.
4. There are three in a VW Bug outside, waiting for him.
5. The elephant. He's still in the refrigerator.
6. Two ducks. (I've been told that two telephone polls is an acceptable answer, but I like ducks better. They're fluffy, and quack....and I've sounded like one for a week now. Needless to say, we're good friends now.)