It's so funny, I cried.

I got my diploma in the mail last week. While looking at it, I thought, "what an expensive piece of paper." Is that normal? Any way, it caused me to reflect on some of the lessons that higher education taught me. I will share a few that made me laugh.

The last ten years have taught me.....

1. BOHICA!


2. If there are two instruments in the lab, they will never be working at the same time. But, if there is three or more, this can be accomplished.


3. Student health care is worth exactly what you pay for it, if you're lucky.


4. Despite the fact that you have no data or error analysis, a failed lab experiment is exponentially harder to write up than a successful one.


5. Sororities are not all that they are cracked up to be.


6. Somebody really should have shot Murphy. Preferably in the gut.


7. If an experiment worked the first time, something went wrong.


8. I really want a tee-shirt with Maxwell's equations on it.


9. If you want to get an instrument fixed, stop talking with the techs at tech support. The fastest way to accomplish this is to call the sales rep.


10. No matter how many times you tried it, it will work for your advisor/boss....on the first try....perfectly.
11. The techs at tech support do not have a sense of humor; any joke you crack will be taken seriously.
12. Looking for a job makes you feel like a mouse wearing a sign that says "Need money. Willing to endure scientific research."