Fears of the Heart

So, this will be the last post for a while. For those of you who don't know (which is probably just about everyone) I defend my masters thesis in a little over a week. I am scared $hit less!

In truth, I feel ready. I just can't get rid of this fear that I am going to be completely torn to shreds. That I will get up there, say and do everything right, and still fail. I gave the first dry run in front of my adviser Monday. It went really well for a first dry run. There was minimal changes to my slides, and I left feeling really good about it. His advise was pretty standard. Stand up straight!...Don't snap your gum!...Are you reading your slides!?...I can't hear you!...You have too many slides. Just kidding, he was really helpful. He had me flip through my slides as he talked, showing me where I could save time. The only disturbing thing is that if I don't talk to the back right corner of the room, he is going to stand there so I will. I'm not sure why he wants that corner to feel included, but I'm willing to accommodate. Your adviser is like your mother, when he's happy everyone's happy.

The second dry run was Wednesday. It went even better. I had made the changes to my slides, and was even able to run through all 23 of them in half an hour! My adviser ask some mock questions (the kind designed to trip you up and make you look like a babbling idiot) and I was able to answer most of them successfully. It wasn't until half an hour afterward that I noticed that I had toothpaste down the front of my shirt! I really hope that this is not a sign of things to come! At least it was on the bottom corner, and not down the middle.

All this fear has led me to believe that I need a good luck charm (hence the pic). I'm not sure what makes an adequate good luck charm. All I really know that rabbit's feet don't work. I mean, the rabbit had four of them and look what happened to him. I have decided that for my defense, the Groundhog of Science would make a wonderful good luck charm. This way, if it doesn't work out I can blame it all on him. After all, he's a groundhog. What could he possibly know about science!


P.S.
Don't feel bad if you didn't know that I was defending. I haven't had time to breath, much less spread the news. They only reason I have time to blog, is that I am currently waiting on an undergraduate. Well, got to go. I need to be in St. George this weekend for CE's farewell. I'm really proud of him.

SAoS

While playing on line, JLD found a list of facts about Bill Nye. The list can be found here http://billnyefacts.googlepages.com/. In one of the heavily embellished stories about his social life, a Teddy Bear of Science is mentioned. We decided that we needed teddy bears of science. Since not all are partial to teddy bears, I have taken the liberty of expanding the genera to include all stuffed animals. Presto! SAoS (Stuffed Animals of Science) are born!

Now, you may ask, "What makes a true SAoS?" There are three criteria that every SAoS must conform to. The stuffed animal in question must:

1. be made/purchased with the specific intent on becoming a SAoS (no retrofitting, please),
2. contain within it something that the scientific community uses regularly, and
3. must wear one of two things (bonus points if both are present) a bow tie displaying a terminal bachelor pattern, or a lab coat.

Glasses and other accessories are a nice touch, but entirely optional. On impulse several years ago, I bought a pack of wallet-sized periodic tables. Armed with these, we went to build-a-bear. We had begun the first leg of our quest for the SAoS! Finding a parking spot was difficult.

PART 1: FIND PARKING. We were driving around, when we got stopped in a long line of someone waiting for a parking spot. We were patient; after all we were on the brink of obtaining the SAoS! However, the guy in the pickup truck (a rather large pickup truck) wasn't so patient. He kept backing up and maneuvering himself in really weird positions. We were half convinced that he was trying to get into a small parking spot when he signaled something to me (I was driving. I'm not that cute). JLD thought he was telling me to take the spot, and I thought that he was saying he wants the spot. Either would require me to back up, and there were four cars behind me. Besides, I really didn't want that spot. It was right at the intersection and would be difficult to get out of. He gave up, and the line eventually moved. He then proceeded to take an even smaller spot. He had to fold the driver's side mirror in, to avoid having it taken off. The trim on the side of his truck wasn't so lucky. He cursed and drove off. Our laughter over him folding his mirror in died quickly. Later, I wondered how he thought he was going to get out of his truck. Maybe he only likes to park?

PART 2: BUILD-A-BEAR. For those of you who are not familiar with build-a-bear, they don't only have bears. They have a lot of bears, some in ungodly colors and patterns. While perusing the selection, it occurred to me. Teddy bears of science are really cool, but you can't beat a GROUNDHOG OF SCIENCE! I had made my selection. It was stuffed with cotton, the second requirement (a wallet sized periodic table), and the customary heart. It was bathed (more like an air shower). Now it was time to fulfill the third requirement. I looked around the store, and then had to look around again. There were no bow ties, and the closest thing to a lab coat was a bathrobe. Disillusioned, I bought the bathrobe thinking maybe I could modify it to make it work. I then moved to the computers, to name my Groundhog of Science. At checkout I was asked if I named by groundhog. I told her "Yes, I named him Groundhog of Science." She didn't even bat an eye; she just went over and picked up the birth certificate. I wonder what she would have done if I said Bob or Digger? She probably would have had a heart attack.

PART 3: LEAVING THE PARKING STRUCTURE. We inspected the wall, and found part of the truck. We laughed (getting your car crunched is only funny after a the shock wears off), shook our heads, and got into the car. Unsurprisingly enough, there was a line leaving the parking structure. Thinking it would be a while before we could make any significant progress on leaving, we started to discuss how to modify the bathrobe and the possibility of pocket protectors. There were two parking attendants, or two really creepy guys, standing next to the exit. They noticed that I didn’t notice that the line had moved a whole two feet. They clapped and yelled at me to move forward. We were stunned. I mean, how rude! I'm no beauty, but neither do I have a tail! I was good though, and pulled up quickly.

PART 4: TAILORING. That night I proceeded to modify the previously mentioned bathrobe. After 20 minutes of work it looked like a belt less bathrobe, that has a collar instead of a hood. Needless to say, I was not impressed. I spent a few hours today running around to department and toy stores looking for a lab coat/doctor's outfit for my groundhog of science. I found only disappointment. I remember seeing such things when I was a kid. What is the world coming to, when children can no longer dress their teddy bears (or groundhogs) up to be doctors! We are depriving our children! My roommate had the wise suggestion of going on line. I did, and finally found a lab coat! It's even called a lab coat. It is being shipped as you read!

Pics of the groundhog of science to come!