It's not the air that's trying to kill you dear.

A while ago, and to select friends, I made mention that the Nebraskan air is tyring to kill me. I thought that, in the interest of fair reporting, I should mention that I went for allergy testing yesterday. Here's how I learned that my body has a death wish.

After listening to my symptoms, the woes/inadequacies of current/past medications, and making sure I was a good girl and abstained from antihistamines for the past 72 hours, I was tested for the more common indoor/outdoor allergens. If you don't know how this is done, I'll explain. A group of allergens are preloaded on to a tray. The tray is then pressed into your back. It both drops a bit of serum and creates a small scratch. Then you wait, for 15 minutes, while your body does what it does. In my case, that was react.

Apparently I am not allergic to mold, dogs, or the vast majority of trees. Out of 14 weeds they tested for, I am allergic to 11...including hemp. That explains why my necklace always makes me itch...I thought it was a texture thing. Out of the 11 grasses that they tested for, I am allergic to 10 of them. But don't worry. We can still have a nice, lush, green lawn of corn out front. In keeping with the total truth theme, I am allergic to three of the 17 trees that were tested for. And, as Nick likes to keep pointing out, I am a little bit cat allergic.

I first suspected that there would be many reactions when four minutes after the test was started my back felt like it was smoldering. Thankfully, just before it erupted into flames, the doctor came back and said, "It looks like you're in the right clinic."

Decisions so far? We're still getting a cat. And I was lied to. I've never, EVER, seen a mosquito bite that made a red spot bigger than a quarter and a bump the size of a penny. I looked like I was beat with a belt!

Family Vacations!

Nick and I just got back from our first official family vacation.

Instead of putting the anticipated 4k miles on our car, we decided to rent a car. A Hyundai this time. It drove OK, but had huge blind spots in the back...kind of scary knowing how many short people would be around us. It was a grey/green color, which, according to the rental agreement, was beige. Anyway, I digress.

We spent a few days in Southern Idaho, for the Ellis family reunion. It was very enjoyable. I got to spend 6 hours outside, in a single day! Of course, I had to spend all but 4 hours of the next day hiding from all things green. We played a game of Ultimate organized by Nick's nephew. I seriously don't think he could have set up the teams any more in his favor. :) We raced plastic ducks, and blew one up with a firecracker. We raced pinewood derby cars, Lego cars, matchbox cars, high heels, and pretty much anything else that had wheels, or could have wheels added to it. And, of course, good food and company overflowed. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know my new family a little bit better; hopefully I didn't scared them too much.

After a few days, we jumped back into our 'beige' car and drove down to Southern Utah to visit my family. Life in St. George is very much different, and people are rarely found outside (for more than 15-20 minutes anyway) between the hours of 10 am to 5 pm. We managed to have some fun though. We went swimming at the Washington community center. We were finally able to pry my black powder gun from my Dad's hands. We found some odds and ends for the apartment (like an $80 art piece for only $16). And we can't forget the shooting. I am proud to admit that, despite the peer-pressure, I remain a 3.5" shell virgin. That, and a tomato makes a very satisfying shotgun target.

We then jumped back into the car, and spent the night in Salt Lake City. We had dinner with a friend and her new fiance. Nick was adamant about getting a hotel room with a Jacuzzi tub. He then proceeded to draw a romantic bubble bath. I was unconcerned at the first large squirt of dish soap. (That's right, my allergies have reduced me to dish soap!) Mildly amused at the second, and faintly alarmed at the third. Since there wasn't a fourth, I figured it was OK. Once the jets were turned on, the bubbles took over. It literally took us an hour to clean up. I feel sorry for anyone who draws a bath in that tub, and doesn't want bubbles. They won't get it for the next month or so!

Then we jumped back into the car and drove home. Now we are wishing we had a maid to unpack for us.

Isn't technology great?

We are having phone issues.

Maybe it's because we have finally got to the point where we have a little money to play with. Maybe it's because our 'Utah' phones don't like the 'Nebraska' humidity. (I know that I don't) Or it might be the fact that we both have been off contract for about five years now, and our phones would be great-great-great-grandparents if they were actually able to copulate. Wow, that's a visual I really didn't need.

Anyway, Nick's phone had it's final 'senior moment' last month. Nick knows what phone he wants, he just wants his arm and leg more. We figured that since I just want a phone (not a spreadsheet, media player, note pad, calculator, hopscotch taw, and whatever else you can think up ... oh, and it would be nice if it could make calls too) we would get me a new phone now, and Nick one when we can afford the one he really wants. If it can, in truth, be called a phone.

So, I got a new phone. Nick took charge of my old phone....and the centipede game. *sniff* However, today decided it to play dead. (The phone. Centipede still whops!) We are currently in the process of reviving it. Luckily we found some help.

Lucky because I hate fruit cake...I don't care who made it. If it has candied fruit, it's the nastiest thing on the planet. We read the post out loud to the phone (just to let it know what was coming should it decide not to cooperate) and decided to skip down to step six. That, and I don't think that we would have had much luck with number 5 either.

Random thoughts

Just a few random thoughts to brighten your day.

~*~ The other day I was thinking of the movie "The Bucket List." It lead me to consider what might be on my bucket list. After pondering this for a moment, I asked Nick what would be on his bucket list.

He wants to go to Australia and hunt donkey, cat, kangaroo, and anything else they will let him chase with a gun. My first thought? "You want to go to Australia and chase some tail?"

~**~ I love the Bob and Tom show. After all, without it, how else would I hear about the Pakistani spy that was caught in India this week. It is a pigeon. It is being held without visitors.

~***~ On the way to Wal-Mart we pass a giant field. It's about to be turned into condos. In the mean time, it's being used to grow hay (or whatever becomes hay...a farmer, I am not).

Here's the process of harvesting hay...from my perspective, of course.

1. The hay is cut, and arranged into lines...like cocaine.
2. Several tractors fight to see who gets to snort the lines. (Note to self, I need to get up earlier so I can watch the brawl.) In the process of snorting, they defecate all over the field.
3. *HeHe* Tractor scat.
4. Finally, another tractor comes along and arranges the scat. Kind of like a dung beetle who's lost it's appetite. Although, it could have started to read right wing literature.

HERMITS...unite?

I'll be the first to admit that I am socially awkward. I'm sure that my chemistry classes had a good laugh over Mitch trying to get a feel for how I would respond to him asking me out (something I realized about a year too late). But, as a scientist, I come by it honestly. I offer the following as proof:

An engineer is riding his new bike to class. In front of the building he meets a classmate, who notices the sweet new ride. He asks if the bike is new. The first engineer responds "Yes, yesterday this beautiful blonde rode up to me on this bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'You can take anything you want.'" The second engineer said, "You made a good choice. I doubt the clothes would have fit."

If you want more jokes like this, it was found here.

Think Geek

OK, I'll admit that...my skin barely sees enough sunlight to make the vitamin D I need to survive, I spend nearly every waking hour with my nose buried in a book or the computer, and I have sudoku on my phone...but does that make me a geek?

One of my best friends sent me a link to a geek test, because she was curious about my score. (Does that make me a geek?) I was curious too...so I took the test. She felt it was a crime I didn't get 100%, but I was shocked that I scored as high as I did. Take the test, leave a comment with your score (please...I want to see), THEN read on.

I must admit, I really don't know what is geeky...but this quiz brought up a few things that I would like to address:

• Spending time on a computer for fun, does not make you geeky. It's what you do on said computer that makes you geeky. I am sure that there are plenty of non-geeky things to do on a computer...I just don't enjoy any of them.
  
• ***SPOILER ALERT***James Maxwell could have been a lucky guess. You're not geeky till you know what he's famous for....and can derive it in less than half a page.
  
• This is a very tech-savoy age...who doesn't know how much RAM their computer has.
  
• A high GPA doesn't necessarily mean geeky...you may have majored in underwater basket weaving.
  
• Yes, the real element is there...OK, that was geeky.
  
• Why does only having a few friends make you geeky?
  
• Those pointy ears stick out!
  
• Just because I choose a TI over an HP doesn't mean I'm geeky! True the HP is the better calculator (at least they were when I was buying calculators), but they speak backwards Pollock.
  
• Just because you know that they are programming languages doesn't mean that you know what to do with them.
  
• Multi-colored notes are pretty!

So, have I been dethroned?

12 Steps--Steps 8 & 9

Contrarry to what Nick may think, I am absolutely willing to make amends for all wrongs I have caused (both actual and perceived). I am making a start here. Most of these wrongs can be found here, and here.

1. The logical result of having a can of pressurized soda and a bonfire in close proximity is to put said soda in the bonfire. I am eternally sorry that I made this logical no-no. I will no longer put A&W ANYTHING in a humongous pile of ashes...no matter how tempting it is...no matter who is with me.
2. If you ask someone "What happens if you don't want to go to heaven?", the logical response is "Go to hell then." I am very sorry, and will never again view the world in such a black and white...logical...way. There are multiple places that someone could end up after death...they could be reborn as a brussel sprout...or they could stay here and avoid the light. Whichever.
3. People can double underline phrases for many different reasons. I will no longer assume that it is the funniest reason that it could be. My apologies to Joseph Smith. I'm sure your spelling was supurb...unlike mine...for which spell check was invented.
4. I am sorry that I abused my powers of persuasion, to have a clean bedroom for two weeks. Never again will I use logic in a way that is counter productive to another person's sleep cycle...no matter how messy my bedroom is...no matter how erratic that sleep cycle was in the first place. The living room may be an entirely different matter though.
5. Even though "we kicked your butt" was a logical summation of the basketball game, I understand that it wasn't in good sportsmanship. I will never again suggest a end-game rally cry based upon a logical game summation. From now on, I will use a constructive critique of the opposing team's game...."the ball goes in the hoop" would have been a better cheer.
6. No longer will I eat all of a treat, simply because it is there. Yummy it may be, but the hips never forgive!
7. I will no longer be an enabler to the spread of the sarcastic T-shirt. I am sorry to those that I got hooked, and if you want counseling to stop I have a number for you. 1-800-9327948. (Virtual cookies to the first person who correctly figures out what it spells)
8. From now on, whenever I think of a logical (and totally gut-wrenchingly funny) comment, I will bite my tongue and count to ten. Then, if it is still appropriate, I will share. It is true that the head is an appendage. It was not appropriate to point that out in Relief Society. Even if the given definition was "something that is attached, but not important to the main body." It kills the mood of the meeting (plus, I no longer have anyone to share with).

Ok. So, these seemed to be the highlights of what was on my moral inventory. If you know of an instance where I used logic and I shouldn't have, or someone was harmed (rightfully or not) please leave a comment. I will add an apology there as well.