We're DINKS...as soon as we find jobs

I got engaged yesterday! Since I know everyone will ask....here's the whole story.

It all started on New Year's Eve. Nick told me that he would like to go to the mall to 'look' at rings again. I almost balked. My ring was already picked out, and he wasn't much help with his ring. What was there to look at? It was a complete surprise when he bought it. We sent it off to get it sized. When we got home I asked him who I could tell that we bought my ring, and he said..."Nobody. Not until I put it on your finger." I thought that was very mean, and said so. He laughed. I reminded him that he put it on my finger at the store, and he said it didn't count unless it came with "the" question. These last few weeks have been pure torture!

Wensday night Nick asked if I wanted to go to the Olive Garden for lunch Thursday. Then he asked if I even had to go in at all. I've been training another research group on our TGA, so the last few days has been spent helping them with their research. They weren't coming in today, so I was excited about having the instrument all to my self. When I told him this, his face fell through the floor. I swear I heard it crash. Then it hit me....ring....lunch....Olive Garden....OH! I told him that we should have lunch.

Before I left, Nick got my phone and started flipping through the numbers. I debated on if I should let him find it on his own, or if I should help him. I decided to be helpful...he looked really lost flipping through the Js. I told him to try P. He asked why P, and I told him "for parents." He said "Oh," and jotted the number down. Needless to say, neither one of us slept well that night.

I went to work that morning, and let me tell you it was really, REALLY hard to concentrate on the calibration I was doing. Unbeknown to me (sort of), Nick was calling my dad. He later told me that the conversation went something like this:

"Hi Bill, this is Nick. I'm in love with your daughter, and would like to marry her."
"Who is this?"

Poor Nick! No wonder he was so nervous over lunch. After lunch, the conversation went something like this:

"Do you have to go back to work?"
"I probably should, but I don't want to. What do you want to do?"
"Let's go for a walk. Where do you want to walk?"
"Where is a good place to walk? You do more walking than I do."
"That's the problem. I've walked around the places here so often that I'm tired of them."
"Ok, where haven't you walked in a while?"
"The frisbee park." (Our first date)
"Ok, let's go there."

We get there and start to walk around. He tries to throw a snowball at me, but I make him be nice. We make it to the back side of the park, and he stops. Pulls the ring out of his pocket, and says that he has something to ask me. He gets down on one knee (in the snow no less!) and starts to pull off my right glove. It's cold, so I tell him that he has the wrong hand. We laugh, and then get engaged! One snowball fight later, and we're back to his place to call family/friends. Then comes the celebratory root beer floats. Yum!

So, now you all know the story. We're engaged!

It's so funny, I cried.

I got my diploma in the mail last week. While looking at it, I thought, "what an expensive piece of paper." Is that normal? Any way, it caused me to reflect on some of the lessons that higher education taught me. I will share a few that made me laugh.

The last ten years have taught me.....

1. BOHICA!


2. If there are two instruments in the lab, they will never be working at the same time. But, if there is three or more, this can be accomplished.


3. Student health care is worth exactly what you pay for it, if you're lucky.


4. Despite the fact that you have no data or error analysis, a failed lab experiment is exponentially harder to write up than a successful one.


5. Sororities are not all that they are cracked up to be.


6. Somebody really should have shot Murphy. Preferably in the gut.


7. If an experiment worked the first time, something went wrong.


8. I really want a tee-shirt with Maxwell's equations on it.


9. If you want to get an instrument fixed, stop talking with the techs at tech support. The fastest way to accomplish this is to call the sales rep.


10. No matter how many times you tried it, it will work for your advisor/boss....on the first try....perfectly.
11. The techs at tech support do not have a sense of humor; any joke you crack will be taken seriously.
12. Looking for a job makes you feel like a mouse wearing a sign that says "Need money. Willing to endure scientific research."

Just one of those days

Have you ever been in an argument that gives you the feeling that you just can't win? I bet that it felt something like this.



Thanks go to Jen, who forwarded this e-mail to me. She must have known that it belonged on my blog!

12 Steps--step 5

Some of you may be like I was for the first several decades of my life. You may thinking that logic is an admirable trait in a woman, who, as a general breed, tend to be overly emotional. It is to you that I dedicate this post. I give you the next step along my path to logical independence:

5. Admission of the exact nature of our wrongs

In general, logic is not wrong. Don't get me wrong here, this is not denial speaking. Logic, like any other delectable, is wonderful...if used in moderation. This is where my sin comes in. I have this compulsive need to apply logic to everything.

You may think that this isn't so bad. You may think that you've heard of worse sins. Well....just read on. It is so bad that my favorite joke is not just one joke, but a string of jokes...that follow a logical progression. I will demonstrate:

1. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator?
2. How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator?
3. How do you put four elephants in a VW Bug?
4. How do you know that there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
5. The lion king called a meeting, which animal didn't attend?

If you were to argue that this can not be my favorite joke, since it is five jokes, I would agree with you. I would be forced to tell you that my favorite single joke was told to me by my Calculus teacher. Unlike the previous string, it is not in the least logical. You will never guess the answer. It is...What's the difference between a motorcycle. No. I didn't forget half the joke, but the guy who told it to Mr. Hunt might have.

If this wasn't bad enough, my life seems saturated by logic. It seems that the more tainted your thoughts are with logic, the more specific people have to be with you. What do you think of when a 'topless' dinner is suggested to you? My first thought (and, oddly enough, the one I voiced) was "You can take the top off your pot pie, if you want to."

Not even Sunday services are safe! One time, in church, an appendage was defined as "something that is attached to the main body, but is not necessary." Without missing a beat I leaned over to my friend and said "You know, the head is considered an appendage."

These links that my mind makes are truly scary. I'm sure that by now you all now see the dangers of letting logic creep into your thought processes. A little here and there is ok, but remain on your guard. Logic is like lays...once you start, you can't stop!

And, since I'm sure that someone will ask in the comments, here are the answers to the jokes:

1. Open the door, put the giraffe in, close the door.
2. Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door. (What? You thought that both an elephant and a giraffe would fit in a refrigerator? Don't be silly.)
3. Two in the front, two in the back.
4. There are three in a VW Bug outside, waiting for him.
5. The elephant. He's still in the refrigerator.
6. Two ducks. (I've been told that two telephone polls is an acceptable answer, but I like ducks better. They're fluffy, and quack....and I've sounded like one for a week now. Needless to say, we're good friends now.)

Help Please!

Hey everyone,

I have a friend who is going in for a biopsy on Monday. It would mean a great deal to me if you would remember her in your prayers. She is a totally awesome, very special lady. Please join with me in praying for her.

Thanks, you guys/gals are the best!

12 Steps--step 4

I have a pretty bad cold, and I'm bored. You would be to if the only way you feel like you are breathing is to have the room so full of vicks vapors that it would suffocate a dinosaur. Trying to come up with something to do for the few days that I've been 'hot boxing' vicks has been a challenge. I've applied to a several jobs, caught up on all my fanfiction, played too many video/computer games, done the dishes, cleaned my room, watched all my Christmas movies, read several chapters in my book, and now I'm avoiding calling the insurance company (it's been a busy three days). I figure that the best way to do that is to blog...so without further ado:

Step 4. Moral inventory

This inventory was started quite a while ago, even before I realized that I had a problem with logic. Unfortunately most of my best examples are there. However, I do believe that I have thought of a few more things I could work on. I continue my previous list here.

I'm sorry that I...

1. made my brother a sarcastic sign, so my parents could keep up.
2. ate the whole pan of fudge. It was really good fudge, and I tried to spread it out. It took a whole week. In my defense, I told my roommates to have some, even left it in front of the fridge--with a knife, but they were not fast enough.
3. thought of getting my brother's soon to be born baby an onesie that had "downloading" and a completion bar printed on it. I came to my senses in time, just barely though.
4. wear t-shirts with sarcastic remarks on them. My favorite is "Everyone has the right to be an idiot, but you are abusing the privilege!" I like the contradiction between right and privilege...that, and it makes me feel better when I have to deal with tech support.
5. suggested a moment of silence for those "poor, poor field mice" in my brother's news satire skit. I probably shouldn't encourage behavior like that.
6. was too chicken to admit that I played the "my love life" card when the topic in Apples to Apples was "comical." It was a choice between making people laugh or playing a card that made absolutely no sense. And, I was very unsure about how Nick's family would take it.
7. voted for all around paper cuts for the insurance company that keeps wanting to review, instead of approve, my little brother's headache treatment.
8. suggested that HMX was "whacked out on weed" when we discovered an oddity in its thermal behavior.
9. laughed at my brother when he 'ransomed' the teacher's chalk for his confiscated lighter. This is another prime example of behavior I shouldn't have encouraged. Good thing we sent him to Chile.

I guess I need to make a statement now. I promise to try to be better, and encourage only good behavior in others. I know this will not be easy. As a kid, if it made mom laugh you didn't get punished for it. In general the 'moms' have changed, but the behavior is still there. I'm sorry, and I will strive to do better.

Oh, and in case anyone is wondering about this strange brother I have, all three are represented above.

Truth is stranger than fiction

Have you ever wondered why Einstein left the patent office? Possibly it was due to something like this passing over his desk.

The November 3rd issue of Chemical and Engineering News featured a mini article about a patent that was awarded in August of 2007, to Avocet Polymer Technologies. This patent (US Patent No. 7255627) is for a bra that can double as a gas mask. I know what you are thinking, only a guy would think this up. WRONG! The patent was awarded to one Elena N. Bodnar, of Hinsdale Illinois.

Several thoughts ran through my mind. 1. You've got to be kidding me. 2. How creepy. 3. Women in Illinois must wash their bra more often than I do. At least I hope so. 4. How uncomfortable, in either function.

This invention also brought up a whole lot of questions. How often do you need to change the filter? How does constant skin contact affect the lifetime of the filter? Who's breasts are in the same shape as their lower face? How do they keep air from leaking around the nose? What happens if you are a DD, do they provide a window to see out of? How would I get half of my bra back...would I even want it back? And which would be preferable, exposure to a chemical/biological agent or removing my bra in public...and then sharing it?