Social Reminiscing

Most people are surprised to learn that my boyfriend is the first guy that I have dated. I'm not sure why. I would have thought that Chemistry Graduate Student would have said it all. I am socially awkward. I have no clue as to what to say, do, or even how to act most of the time. Even church taxes my limited social skills. I really don't know how my boyfriend puts up with it. He probably finds it amusing.

Those of you who haven't seen me must be thinking, "Oh...she must be stunningly beautiful." Sadly, this is not the case. While I don't think that I am ugly, I don't really think that I am beautiful either. I guess I would describe myself as pleasant looking, I don't turn heads either way.

So, I thought I would share my early dating experiences. This way, you all can all share with me the sense of wonder that I actually have a boyfriend. You can also wince with me, as I relate my past dating experiences. More often than not, I feel more sorry for the guy than I do for myself.

The first date I went on was in high school. My AP Chemistry lab partner asked me out. He also was one of my little sister's best friends. I was wearing my favorite pair of black denim shorts. Which unbeknown to me, I split the butt out of. I found this out an hour after he brought me home. Sad, I loved those shorts.

At Dixie Jr. College (now Dixie State), I got involved with Lambda (the LDS church sorority). We were going around to the dorms to promote rush week with Sigma (the fraternity). The guy I was with showed an interest in me. He was even pleasant to talk to...until he said that he "wanted a trench coat so I can carry a sawed-off shot gun." I really didn't want to talk with him after that.

My first day at WSU there was this guy who followed me around all day, and he even tried to get chummy with my dad. I didn't notice (at least until he started talking with my dad), but my mom did. While at career services, I over heard him talking to the receptionist. He wanted to get a business degree so he could go home and run the family bar. Such ambition! He asked me out...right after he introduced himself. Needless to say, I didn't go. The next semester he showed up in a few of my criminalistics classes. I have never been more happy than when I saw him locking lips with another girl outside of class! He didn't come to class anymore after that. Double yea! He aksed really stupid questions.

Now we are at the U. My home teacher called on a Saturday night. I had just spent 12 hours at the lab, and was completely exhausted. That week, 12 hours was a light day. He asked if I wanted to go to music and the spoken word. Had it been any other day I would have said yes; I would have recognized that he was asking me out. But that day my brain was jelly, and all I could think of is that church wasn't until noon and I really wanted to sleep in. I was seriously considering skipping church for some therapeutic video games.

The next guy to ask me out was a really great guy. We became really good friends. We went to a Jazz festival in the park. He had to leave at the beginning to give a blessing. The concert was good, and I felt really bad that he missed it. The next day was the last day of the festival, and he asked me again. Scheduling was hectic, and the whole night was stressful. It wasn't until a few months later, that I realized that it was a date. But like I said, I have the social skills of a jelly fish. I had no clue what to do, so I ignored it.

The next guy to ask me out was my boyfriend. Now that you all know my learning curve, I'm sure you all have a new sense of awe that he puts up with me. Unfortunately, I am still as oblivious as ever! It's a good thing he keeps a 2 x 4 around.

Global warming, revisited

I have been heard!! And the polar bears are leading the front lines in the war on global warming! I am a little concerned, however, about this type of solution. It was never my plan to endorse the utter annihilation of the penguin. I also never realized the extreme animosity that the polar bear has for the penguin. There are very few things that I love enough to walk half way around the world to get; and, I can not imagine hating something enough to do it!

As disturbing as this new development in polar bear behavior is, it is not what concerns me. What I am concerned about it the massive amounts of 'penguin gas' that will be released all at once. So far we have seen only small amounts being released, and some researchers believe that the results of that have been devastating. I hate to think what this latest development is going to do to the global climate. Please, polar bears, stop and think about your actions. You live in this world too.

*Thanks go to Jen, who passed along the e-mail that I stole this photo from. If it's yours, and you want me to remove it, just let me know.*

Fears of the Heart

So, this will be the last post for a while. For those of you who don't know (which is probably just about everyone) I defend my masters thesis in a little over a week. I am scared $hit less!

In truth, I feel ready. I just can't get rid of this fear that I am going to be completely torn to shreds. That I will get up there, say and do everything right, and still fail. I gave the first dry run in front of my adviser Monday. It went really well for a first dry run. There was minimal changes to my slides, and I left feeling really good about it. His advise was pretty standard. Stand up straight!...Don't snap your gum!...Are you reading your slides!?...I can't hear you!...You have too many slides. Just kidding, he was really helpful. He had me flip through my slides as he talked, showing me where I could save time. The only disturbing thing is that if I don't talk to the back right corner of the room, he is going to stand there so I will. I'm not sure why he wants that corner to feel included, but I'm willing to accommodate. Your adviser is like your mother, when he's happy everyone's happy.

The second dry run was Wednesday. It went even better. I had made the changes to my slides, and was even able to run through all 23 of them in half an hour! My adviser ask some mock questions (the kind designed to trip you up and make you look like a babbling idiot) and I was able to answer most of them successfully. It wasn't until half an hour afterward that I noticed that I had toothpaste down the front of my shirt! I really hope that this is not a sign of things to come! At least it was on the bottom corner, and not down the middle.

All this fear has led me to believe that I need a good luck charm (hence the pic). I'm not sure what makes an adequate good luck charm. All I really know that rabbit's feet don't work. I mean, the rabbit had four of them and look what happened to him. I have decided that for my defense, the Groundhog of Science would make a wonderful good luck charm. This way, if it doesn't work out I can blame it all on him. After all, he's a groundhog. What could he possibly know about science!


P.S.
Don't feel bad if you didn't know that I was defending. I haven't had time to breath, much less spread the news. They only reason I have time to blog, is that I am currently waiting on an undergraduate. Well, got to go. I need to be in St. George this weekend for CE's farewell. I'm really proud of him.

Got Spring?

Spring is here, at least in the Salt Lake Valley. Inspired by a friend's blog, and the subsequent comment war that I tried to start with said friend's new bride, I thought I would list a few of the things that mean spring to me. So, in addition to the trees budding and the flowers blooming...

The forsythia is in full bloom. You might say "Hey! Wait a minute, doesn't that plant bloom in February?" Yes, yes it does. And shortly following this blessed event my allergies surge. And, of course, the brilliant yellow flowers insure that everyone in town has at least one bush in their yard. How wonderful.

Hay fever has started. I have been asked by no less than four people this week if I have hay fever. At the change of seasons, any season, I give up trying to keep my nose and sinuses clear. Instead I focus upon keeping the head and earaches to a minimum. Seventy dollars worth of drugs a month, and I still have a freaking headache!

Skeet hunting. Last weekend we had the first trap shoot of the season. The weekend before it snowed four inches. Well....ok, maybe not four inches, but you get the point.

The new diet fads are coming out. My sister sent me a text message today that said you could lower the fat content of your burger by 40% if you mixed prunes into the meat. We agreed to leave geriatric burgers to those who are over seventy or severely constipated. Don't worry, I'll assume that time has been very good to you.

The Salt Lake City Marathon is tomorrow. That means that, because of the road closures, the graduate student across the hall from me has to leave her house at 5 am in order to get to campus before noon. Absolutely insane, it is a 15 minute drive! Boy am I glad I'm not helping with the Science Olympiad. Although I live further north, so I'm not boxed in like she is...

Last Tuesday it was snowing off and on. Around 6 pm I realized that it was snowing but, I could smell wet pavement. I refuse to call that smell 'rain'; 'rain' smells like wet sage brush and creosote.

As my friend mentioned, Baseball has started. In general, I am not a fan of spectator sports. Normally I don't notice the beginning and ending of a season, but the stadium is on the way to Wal-Mart. If you want to go to Wal-Mart right before or after a game, it takes twice as long to get there.

Which leads me to my favorite one. Wal-Mart has bathing suits on sale. You can't miss them; they're right next to the winter coats.

I'm sorry

This blog entry is an apology of sorts. I have come to realize that sometimes I am not as politically correct as society dictates, or even at all. So, in no apparent order, I have picked several things over the years that I really shouldn't have said or done. They all start with those very important words that everyone finds it so hard to say...

I'm sorry that I...

1. blew up a can of A&W cream soda. I'm even more sorry it was in front of my boyfriend, who won't let me live it down.
2. told my brother "Then go to hell" in sacrament meeting. I probably shouldn't have taken my mother's subsequent laughter as encouragement.
3. have a cat that is flipping the bird as my IM portrait. Not sorry enough to change it, but sorry none the less.
4. learned that my little brother is so susceptible to suggestion that I could tickle him from across the room.
5. made fun of Joesph Smith's double underlining of the phrase "the pure in heart." It really could have been just a reminder to check the spelling.
6. got my roommate evicted. You'd think that after 50 years of life you would figure out that some behavior just isn't acceptable.
7. convinced my sister that if she didn't do everything I said her 'eye jelly' would fall out and she would go blind.
8. unmercifully abused #4.
9. knocked on the window of the van so I could throw a snowball at the kind lady who was willingly giving us a ride home from school. Honestly, she looked bored.
10. suggested "We kicked your butt" for the cheer after a church basketball game. It did seem like an all around summary of the game. It was a massacre.
11. threw little black balls of string at my sister while yelling SPIDER. I was even more sorry when she stopped reacting.
12. got thrown out of the ball pit at Chucky Cheese. I don't remember it being that much fun when I was little, maybe it was just the banishment.
    

Well, that's my list. If you were hoping to see something here, and didn't, let me know. I'll tack it on. This is not a plea for forgiveness, just a realization that I may need some. I'm really not sorry enough to be forgiven.

SSDD

07:00--Alarm clock goes off. I really didn't get enough sleep. Oh good...roommate just got into shower. Hit snooze.
07:30--Now I really have to get up.
07:35--Other roommate is in the bathroom. Maybe today is a good day to start eating breakfast.
07:45--Get into the shower. If I hurry I could catch the next bus to campus.
08:05--It's snowing! It was in the 60's yesterday! Where did I hide the zip-out fleece for my coat?
08:15--Zip-out fleece is installed. Pack workout bag, I really need to workout today. Pack pockets. Look out the window in disgust. Where's that stupid flash drive?
08:25--Ready to go...bus left 5 minutes ago. Oh well...now I can make my bed.
08:50--Leave to catch bus. I really don't want to go to school today. There's a quarter of an inch of snow on the ground, and it's still going strong! I hate snow.
09:05--Bus is late. Figures. I probably could have caught the last one.
09:12--Greeted by fellow graduate student. Did I know that it is 70 in St. George? Funny.
09:13--Glare at TGA. I have to switch furnaces today. That means I have to find the stabilization screw that I lost 6 months ago, and didn't bother to look for. Don't tell my advisor. Damn it! I forgot my workout clothes!
09:14--Hmmm....maybe this plate would come off.
09:15--It's dark in there. Where's that flashlight...Oh, this lamp will do.
09:16--Damn it! No screw. Lots of wires though. Probably should unplug TGA before I go poking around. School isn't supposed to be a religious experience.
09:17--Maybe screw would be easier to find if I remove the furnace.
09:25--Furnace removed. Still no screw. Is it possible for it to have fallen behind the furnace?
09:26--Need a screwdriver to remove back panel. Where did it get put last?
09:28--Got it! Now I just need to climb on top of the desk, go around the computer.....maybe I won't need to go to the gym today after all.
09:30--Back panel removed. No screw, isn't even possible for screw to fall there. Replace back panel.
09:32--Turn power off. Jiggle wires. Ah...Found the stupid screw. Replace the panel and start TGA back up.
09:35--Attempt to install new furnace.
09:40--Maybe furnace would be easier to install, if MS capillary isn't still attached. Now I just need two wrenches...
09:45--Capillary removed. Time to try again.
09:50--What is it hung up on now!! Oh...installed stabilization screw wrong. Try again.
09:55--Success!! Now it just needs to be calibrated...
09:56--Jared (fellow graduate student I'm supposed to train on the TGA) shows up. Good. I'll introduce him to the software by running the calibration.
10:30--One out of two calibration points obtained. Looks really good. Damn it! I forgot to switch to the new purge gas flow rates! Oh well, he isn't collecting real data today anyway. I'll redo the calibration later. Just got to let the furnace cool down so it can be opened...shouldn't be too long.
11:30--Oh yeah...this furnace cools down/heats up really slow. That's why we switched to the other one.
11:45--Next calibration point started. Jared has a lecture on glaciers to go to. He invites me...boy I wish I had time to go to a lecture I'm not interested in.
11:50--Finally have time to check e-mail. Advisor still hasn't forwarded e-mail about the chemical engineering research group who's TGA blew up on them. Send friendly reminder.
12:00--Start working on defense slides. They'll probably have to be rewritten once I get my thesis back from advisor, but it's something to do.
12:20--Check on TGA calibration. It's done...looking really good. TGA probably doesn't have to be recalibrated. Need to let the oven cool so I can see how accurate it is at room temperature. Back to slides.
13:00--Oven cooled enough to open. Cools faster this way. Back to slides.
13:15--Nice, oven cooled. Room temperature calibration looks good. Don't have to mess with the calibration. Back to slides.
13:45--Jared comes back. Must have gotten lunch. I'm hungry. Time for lunch.
14:00--Bring lunch back to the office, union is too crowded. Check e-mail. Oh, got e-mail from advisor. Forwaring to engineering student and her advisor. Add note: "I'm a slave who has too much to do. Please give me more work."
14:10--Oh yeah, I got lunch.
14:20--I haven't done the online puzzle yet. Yea...something fun to do.
14:30--That was quick. I'll do last weekends.
14:50--Yea! It was a circular one, they're harder. Go check on Jared. Everything is fine. Back to slides.
15:00--Dad bought two stuffed sheep at Wal-Mart. He sent me a pic. He looked up, online, what type of sheep they are. That's how they got their names. ...Ok...back to slides.
16:30--That Pepsi with lunch is really getting to me. Time for a potty break. I'm bored of slides...time to check the fan fic I've been following.
16:45--Nothing new. Time to go back to slides.
17:00--Two other graduate students come by. They want to look at the data that they collected yesterday. Jared is still using the TGA, they decide to come back later. Back to slides.
17:30--Crap. There was a lecture I was going to go to half an hour ago. Oh well, I was only mildly interested anyway. I'm bored of slides. Time to surf the net.
17:45--Graduate students come back. Let them into the lab. Back to slides, I'm almost half done. It's hard condensing forty pages into easy to read slides.
18:00--Jared has a question. Easily answered, thankfully. His mom is in town. Lucky dog...he gets a home cooked meal.
18:30--I'd better leave if I don't want to walk home. Last bus from campus leaves in 10 minutes.
19:00--My boyfriend calls. "Big Bang Theory" is online! Yea! I get to see it, even if the stupid VCR didn't record it. Mmmm...pizza sounds good.
19:45--Pizza was good. "Big Bang Theory" was funny. Not as funny as last week, but funny. Reminds me of why I don't lie; it's just too much work. "How I met your mother" sounds good.
20:30--"How I met your mother" was funny.
20:48--Everyone's day was average. Told sheep story. Learned that sheep like to get tangled in barbed wire fences, and buffalo like to walk through them.
20:50--I'm going to be kicked out soon. I don't want to go, that means the day is over. I have more slides to do tomorrow. Maybe if I start a tickle fight...
21:00--Only mildly successful. Maybe it would work better if I was ticklish.
21:15--Arrive home. Now I have to say goodnight. Sad. But he hasn't shaved for a few days, so bearable.
21:30--Turn on computer. Time to check out my friends' blogs. I wonder how Deetzland is doing?
22:00--Nothing new. Deetzland is thriving. 92 citizens, everyone gets their own house. I counted. No one posted to my blog either. Maybe I should do something about that. Just got to think of something to say...
22:15--Got this really dumb idea. Now I'm blogging...
23:00--Just got to spell check, then I can get ready for bed. Maybe play 15 min of video games....we all know it's never just 15 min.

This bud's for you

Dear Moral Reprobate,

While I congratulate your eagerness to leave your mark on the world, I do not think that my car is the appropriate place. Can't you find a street sign, or fire hydrant somewhere to vandalize? There is a stop sign about half a block away from where I park. Maybe you need glasses.

I understand that accidents sometimes happen. It is a sad thing that when we don't have the proverbial balls to own up to our mistakes. Couldn't you have left a note? Do I need to keep pen and paper outside of my car, as well as inside? I am assuming you do know how to read and write; after all most five-year-olds can write their name and phone number. Do you enjoy being morally egregious?

I would offer you a cold one, but you probably wouldn't want it. Considering the mood I'm in, spit would be the nicest thing I would put in it!




*whew* I really feel better now. You guys should really try this! It works.