12 Steps--step 3

3. Total surrender to God.

This has been a difficult post to write. Not because I don't believe in God; because I most assuredly do. Not because I don't do what he tells me; my track record isn't 100%, but it's up there. But because I want it to have the right mixture of insolence and reverence. I want God to read this and laugh, without giving a single thought toward the smite button. (I'd post the cartoon, but Gary Larson has requested that his cartoons not be available on the internet.) So...here we go. If I'm still around tomorrow, I guess He laughed.

I will illustrate this step with three examples, since everyone knows all things religious must be proved in threes.

• I cross streets in downtown Salt Lake City. Most people think that this is taking their life into their own hands. Occasionally I would agree with them. However, since I got an iPod for Christmas, this endeavor has been getting more and more dangerous. I find it warming to look up just in time to avoid the driver that wants to turn me into chunky soup. I believe its evidence that God isn't tired of my shenanigans here on Earth, yet. Oh, and I'm sorry I swore last time.

• I have been reading the Old Testament, and I'm actually enjoying it. Sure it has it's boring parts, but the interesting/funny parts are mixed in at just the right frequency. It must have been inspired. Along with all the genealogy, the wars, and where each tribe's inheritance is located, are...(1) A talking donkey; (2) paradoxes (you can't gather sticks on the Sabbath, but immediately stone the guy who did); (3) a slut who gets rewarded for blackmail; and my personal favorite (4) Moses acting like a Jewish grandmother (Because of your unfaithfulness we have had to wander in the desert for 40 years, with you whining and murmuring against God the whole time! I left you alone, for just a minute, and while I was gone you starting worshiping a golden calf! I took your idol into the wilderness, and beat it to dust. God was so ready to smite your sorry butts, but I pleaded long and hard for you! In His infinite wisdom, God had mercy upon you.). And to think, I'm only in Joshua. I can't wait to get to Samuel where, according to my roommate, there is explosive diarrhea!

• Over the years I have developed a "what will be, will be" attitude. Don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean that I just sit back and watch life happening. I am always striving to improve things around me. I have, and continue to, work hard to get exactly where and what I want. I set goals, and make future plans. However, if these plans don't work out exactly the way I hoped, it isn't the end of the world. I adapt, and make new plans. In short, as long as I am treated fairly, I accept what is--and work hard to make tomorrow better. As long as I do my very best, I have faith that everything will work out as it should.

Educated Insolence

What is the obsession with dressing up for Halloween? As a kid I dressed up. However, one year I was too swamped with algebra homework to go trick-or-treating. That was the last time I dressed up. Well...not exactly. I've worn a costume (sort of) three times since then.

The next year, my friends were discussing their Halloween costumes. When I didn't say anything, they asked me what I was going to be. I explained that I wasn't dressing up, and they didn't believe me. The day came where we could wear our costumes to school, and I didn't get a moment's peace. I am ashamed to admit it--on the way home, I caved. I picked up a dead leaf, and told them I had my costume. They asked me what I was, and I made them guess. There was about half a mile left in the walk home. I know what you are thinking, and I did too have an answer in mind. I just wanted to see what they would come up with. They didn't guess it, and I took pity on them. I said, "I'm a missionary." At their confused looks, I twirled my leaf and said, "my little friend has fallen away." That got laughs and them off my back. The best of both worlds.

The next time I dressed up was a few years ago. I had a roommate who wasn't going to let me not dress up. I briefly wondered what she could do to me if I didn't dress up, but in the end I decided to humor her. To the ward Halloween party I wore a baby doll t-shirt that had the yellow submarine from the Beatles's album on it. Since I frequently wore this shirt, she had to ask if I dressed up. I told her, "Yes. I'm a drug rep." It took her a minute, but she got it. I'm sorry to say that most of the people who asked me didn't. I guess that's a good sign, at a LDS party.

The last time wasn't for Halloween. I had a friend that threw a sixties dinner party. Everyone needed to come dressed up in sixties attire. When I complained that I wasn't alive in the sixties, and hence I didn't know how they dressed, she told me to watch sixties TV shows. I told her I would think about dressing up. Then I remembered, Star Trek was on air in the sixties! I went dressed as a red shirt. Complete, mini-skirt and all.

Picture Tag

So...here's the rules:

1. Go to the third folder in your picture files.
2. Post the third picture.
3. Tag three friends.

Here's my picture. It's from the last time we went skeet hunting, last April.

I tag: Jessie, Mandy, and Bishop Glade.

My blog reading has increased since the last time I was tagged, but just barely.

Walking around without skin!

Body Worlds 3 cannot be beat! I totally loved it, but then again, I enjoy looking at 'bodies without skin' as my mom puts it.

I checked out their homepage when I first heard about it, the last week in September. Since then, I have been madly trying to find someone to go with me. I decided to go alone today, since I thought that this was the last weekend. (Luckily I caught my roommate on the way out the door, and we went in together. We were quickly separated though.) However, I checked again today and you are good to go until January. Everyone should go see it! Please go see it, it's too cool to pass up.

Gunther von Hagens created this method of preserving bodies where bodily fluids are replaced by plastics. This method can be used to preserve the whole body, or only parts of the body. The bodies can then be displayed in life-like poses, and allows the viewer to see how each organ and muscle 'fits' with the rest.

My favorite exhibit was one in which they only preserved the blood vessels of the head and brain. It can be found here, they won't let me post it on my blog. (They say that they will sue me, and I don't have $1500 plus attorney fees--if I did, I would send it to them, and post the pic. They don't mention any legal action about links to the pic, which can be found from their website anyway, so I figure I'm safe. **Please don't sue me, I don't have any money.**)

They have a collection of fetuses from only a few weeks old (Where it looks like a small snot ball--I really hope that the dissector didn't have allergies, and sneezed at the wrong time. That would have been really unfortunate.) to right before birth. All the major organs are displayed, and many with diseases and tumors. I got to see a cross-section of a leg with "smoker's leg" and an ulcer. In short, it was soooooooooo cool! I'm really glad that I went.

At any rate, I think that everyone should go see the 'bodies without skin'. It is well worth the $23 to get in. Be sure to plan for it, though. The website says it takes 90 min. It would be a miracle if you could go through it in that much time. It took me over two hours!

Got Wisdom?

So, now that you have taken the wisdom quiz, want to know how to get a five? Here's, in no apparent order, are the ten steps to becoming the wisest in all of the land. Sort of like the fairest of all the land, but it doesn't fade with age.

(At least according to the "Three-Dimensional Wisdom Scale--someone else might think that it's being able to write a coherent, entertaining story including: a jar of cheese whiz, Obama, three feral goats, a clothes pin, and a monkey wrench. If you do this, send it to me. I want to read!)

1. Be curious, and have your own opinions.
2. Don't settle for just the answer, find out why that's the answer.
3. Revel in the variety of life. Understand and enjoy the grey.
4. Be tolerant of others. Have compassion for all living beings.
5. Have a sincere desire to help everyone, and provide help where you can.
6. Seek to understand others, try to see things from their point of view.
7. Own your life. Take control of both your emotions and circumstances.
8. Look at all the available information before making decisions.
9. Once you make a decision, act upon it.
10. No regrets. Sure bad things happen. Learn from them, so they don't happen again.

Oddly enough, each unwise response lowers your score by 0.1. This makes 1.1 the low on the quiz, not 1. Apparently just taking the quiz increases your wisdom! To bad it's a one time deal.

12 Steps--Step 2

2. Reliance upon a higher power

I have given this notion a bit of thought. And, in truth, I am having a hard time finding a power higher than logic. Not many people know that I did all my calculus homework while watching Star Trek reruns. I found that whenever I got stuck, if I watched until the next commercial break, I would be able to figure it out during the commercials. I confess...to this day, whenever I need to think about something, I turn to Star Trek.

With this dilemma in mind, I watched my favorite old school movie, Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. I settled down on the bed with the remote, wishing for stereo sound and a 20' screen. I would have had popcorn, but I was all out. My hips thanked me, while my stomach cried. It's such a boob.

And there it was...right in the beginning of the movie! A magical quote, that suddenly stood out. It is in the scene where Spock and Polaris are speaking in his quarters, early in the ill fated mission to greet the Klingons. Spock says..."Logic is only the beginning of wisdom, Polaris, not the end." I have found my higher power! Now that I have cut my teeth on logic, I need to move on to the meaty goodness of wisdom.

In the search for more wisdom (yep, you guessed it...google), I came across a quiz. This quiz scores your wisdom on a scale from 1 to 5, 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest. I took the quiz twice, just to make sure. Both times I scored a 4.4. Clearly I have gained some wisdom in my life, but there is still room for more. Any thoughts on how to obtain 0.6 bits of wisdom?

12 Steps of Normalcy--Step 1

OK. If I am ever to join the ranks of normalcy, I will need to do it officially. If I do this piecemeal, I am afraid that I will end up somewhere stuck in the middle. That has to be worse than being at either end. I have decided to go through the 12 steps of normalcy. However, I do not know what these are. So...I googled it. This is what came up. I will repeat the steps here.

1. Admission of powerlessness
2. Reliance upon a higher power
3. Total surrender to God
4. Moral inventory
5. Admission of the exact nature of our wrongs
6. Commitment to total change
7. Prayer for total wholeness
8. Total willingness to amend
9. Making amends where possible
10. Continuing inventory
11. Prayer and meditation
12. Spiritual awakening

The reader is cautioned that these steps not only lead to normalcy, but a 'full spiritual regeneration'. I am not sure what is ment by this; but, if they will allow me to escape from the whip crack of logic, I'm game.

I'll take these steps in order, one at a time, providing a different post for each one. I can't promise any time frame for completion, as each step must happen in its own time. To rush the process would be a mockery.

I came close to completing step 1 in a previous post. Here, I will complete the process. *Ahem* My name is Jeramie, and I am a slave to logic. Nothing is more beautiful than a string of thoughts that neatly tie together, the next flowing naturally from the previous. When I find myself following such a path, my heart races, my eyes dilate, my palms get sweaty, and it's hard to breath through the excitement. I think Nick is getting jealous. Anyway...my name is Jeramie, and I am a logiaholic. I need help.